My friend emailed me on Monday night asking if I had heard the news of Dr Wayne Dyers passing.
I hadn't I had but as soon as I read the email, I cried.
I cried over a man I'd never met and didn't know personally, yet despite this, his work has had a profound and long lasting effect on my life.
In 2010 life as I knew it changed and I felt like I was a broken soul, I was so sad, totally lost and I vividly remember thinking I'd never smile again. Sounds dramatic but I remember laying on my bed after leaving hospital in so much pain thinking It would never be possible to heal from the sadness that seem to had swallowed me whole.
A friend one day told me you need to read this book, the book was Dr Wayne Dyers your erroneous zone - how to escape negative thinking and take control of your life.
It's the book that really did make me see the error of my thinking, I think all my life I had believed that my worth came from other people, that if people didn't like me I wasn't of value or their must be something wrong with me. I believed that my weight dictated my lovability. I had a lots of erroneous zones.
The book gave me hope, it helped me see that there was another way of thinking, and just because I currently felt that way didn't mean I would always feel that way. The book allowed me and showed me that I could change my thoughts and that I was responsible for how I viewed events and the meaning I gave them.
One of my all time favourite quotes of Dr Wayne dyers is "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change"
I started to think that what if everything that had happened to me was for my greater good? Even the bad stuff.....especially the bad stuff.
Five years on I can say all of the pain, the sadness has dissolved. It's been healed, however I think it's so important to talk about pain and depression that took over my life because too many people suffer alone in silence feeling like there is something wrong with them.
Of course there are times when my old erroneous zones pop up but I no longer dwell on my thoughts like i previously did - I know I have the power to change them to work for me.
To many people suffer in sadness because they fear being labeled crazy, they fear being judged, they fear too many things.
For the longest time I didn't want to admit I was depressed but I was, I mean what happy person doesn't think that they will never smile again.
I thankfully no longer suffer from depression, does it mean I will never again? I can't say that for sure but what I do know is the more i feed my mind thoughts that feel good, nourish my body with whole food and fuel my soul by living my passion the less likely that is too happen. Now some may say I over simply thing, and what worked for me may not work for others, but we must be so careful of how we feed our minds, the thoughts we think can dictate and shape our life. We can limit our life out of fear.
In my darkest days the most I would do was get out of bed, I remember my sister actually clapping and dancing around the lounge once when she came to visiting me all because she saw I was up and showered! That's how bad I once was, but I'm not that person anymore.
Dr Wayne dyers book helped me realise that the thought I had been thinking we harming me not helping me or allowing me to heal.
I think one of the last book that Dr Wayne Dyer wrote was one called don't die with music still in you, for the longest time I was alive but not living, when you hear of someone's death it can shake you and make you realise that life is so fleeting.
Here are a few of the most lessons I learn from the book
Trust yourself Don't look outside of yourself for worth, self worth comes from self, it's based on what you think of yourself - if your worth it's from others it's other worth not Self worth.
When we spend too much time worrying about what other people think of us we give up our power and this is counterproductive.
We need to deeper the connection with ourself and trust that connection.
We need to step out of comfort and into growth.
Action cures fear - when we take positive steps in the direction we know is right for us good things happen.
Dr Wayne Dyer - you sure did shine your light and light up the world, you message will live on. Despite never meeting you or knowing you personally your written work helped me changed my life and for that I will always be grateful.